at the request of a fine man

It's windy. Very. I'm going to have to close my windows soon before my room gets destroyed.

I went to the park today. I took a denim quilt that my grandmother made for me, you know, those really heavy ones....the great ones stitched with love and knotted with yarn at intersecting seams. I spread out my homework on all the corners so the wind wouldn't take it away- and I studied and "bathed" in the sun, which I think is an odd term. If we can sun-bathe, then why don't we shade-bathe, or cloud-bathe...very strange.

I'm completing the final drafts of my two short stories from this semester. I have two tests tomorrow, and then I'm finished with my undergrad studying. ....still have to student teach, but I don't feel like that's the same as being a student.

Speaking of student teaching, I received my assignments for next fall. I'll be splitting my semester between two schools. 2nd grade at one, and 5th at another. I'm excited. But now that it's official and really happening- I'm scared to move. I'm scared to leave people here. I'm scared to be alone. But in that, I know I'll grow a ton...and learn a lot about myself, which will be great.

I'm off to write. Have a wonderful day!

and i'm off my feet

I'm posting now mostly for the sake of my dear roommate, Melissa. She is absolutely terrified of masked "creatures"- and if she visits my page and sees "Peter Rabbit" right away, it may frighten her. So, for you, Melissa, I am posting double in one sitting- so that you don't have to stare at a scary bunny suit with your roommate buried inside.

I'm at the coho right now with my dear Nathan- he's been so good about letting me work on my "homework"- which was revisions of my stories for my writing of fiction class. However, I seem to be experiencing some kind of "writer's block"- which is a big fat lie and an excuse for writers- you can always write something. It may not be anything worth while, but it'll get you going again. So.....I'm writing. I'm blogging. I'm not revising.

This weekend we went back to Nate's childhood home- there was a wedding shower for his cousin, Matt- and I met nearly the entire family on his dad's side. It was a riot! It's so much fun to meet someones family and to see where they come from, where they grew up, places they worked such as the "daisy queen".... :) There's so much history there and I love being able to imagine stories in my mind- to understand that "tree house" or the "secret door" in the old bedroom .....things like that. They're important to people you care about.....and that makes these things so vital to who you are and where you're going together. I love that.

Martha and Ryan move in a week and a half- I'm very excited for them- but scared to loose a little piece of my heart when they drive away. It's like they're taking it with them- and there's a string attached that will be pulling and tugging at me until I see them again. And that hurts- just a little ache that constantly reminds you that they're not there anymore.

And soon after that, I'll be driving my own self away from this home I've known for so long. I'm starting to feel more and more anxious as the months disappear and I find myself closer to July. And at that time, I'll have many strings tugging at my heart as I leave- and with that will come a huge heart ache that I don't wish to think of now.

Peter Rabbit, anyone?

This weekend at work we had a special guest, Peter Rabbit, visiting for story time in the children's department. Guess who got to dress up as Peter?

I like how this small child is straining to get away from me....and sobbing- terrified of the giant bunny suit...
And here, you can see the large numbers that showed up for story time. This picture's for you, Aaron D........I crack up because of you every time I see this picture...Really, there were more children.....but this picture doesn't do justice...
And when it was all said and done, I posed for one last shot in the receiving room.

what a difference a day makes

I've recently fallen in love with short stories, thanks to my fiction writing teacher. He gave me a book the other day, a (very large) compilation of short stories....I feel like i've been given an unlimited lifetime supply of ....something fabulous- (i'm drawing a blank for an example). I could read and read and read.......last night I read "How to Become a Writer" by Lorrie Moore. She's funny. She's really funny- I read another one of her pieces called "You're Ugly, Too", out loud to my friend, Meg, in Scooters one afternoon. We were laughing hysterically! Much to the annoyance, I'm sure, of those sitting around us. I'm sure that reading out loud to someone who also appreciates this kind of art helped in the humor of the situation....thanks Meg for being such a great friend and outlet for me. :o)

What is it about those types of people- the ones that feel healthy to be around... the friends that are so good for your heart and spirit, that we feel moral obligations to ourselves to spend time with them. I love those people. And hopefully, both friends are equally benefited by the relationship... :) If not, either something needs to be reevaluated, or one sticks with it out of encouragement for the other- which is pretty awesome, and hard to come by.*

Once again, I'm leaving you for my homework. This will be the last week and a half- I promise! :) Things are winding down and I'm feeling great about the amount of work I have left to do. The end is in sight!!!!

i'm touched by the way you've lived your life

Some words by my great friend, Aaron D: (a stunningly beautiful song, if you haven't heard it)

we stand as the masterpiece
your work of art
we have your fingerprints
'cause you gave your heart

i come as one who sees in small
driven and tossed by these waves
i cannot see the shore from here
i'm touched by the way you've lived your life

your voice your smile and those eyes
that lit up when you spoke to me
we stand as the masterpiece
your work of art

we have your fingerprints
because you gave your heart
you were the brush
that was dipped in life

and the hand of a gentle lord
painted on us
i come as one who sees in small
the pouring of a God

surrounding me in peace
i don't pretend to know it all
but as you gave your life to a god
he gave it back to us

'cause you were his masterpiece
his work of art
you had his fingerprints
deep in your heart

you were his instrument
you were his brush
took to his gracious gracious love
you met us

now we are his masterpiece
his work of art
we have fingerprints
of the God who knows our hearts

we are his instruments
we are his brush
dipped in his love
we are your legacy to one we touch

to all we touch
we stand as the masterpiece
you were his masterpiece
now we are his masterpiece

before you met me I was a fairy princess

Tomorrow I think I'll pretend to be a queen. The nice kind. Someone loved and adored and cared for by people all across the land.....because really, most of us don't know how loved we are. It comes as a shock when, suddenly, we find ourselves surrounded by love and inspiration and people that take our breath away. How do we forget? Why don't we remember that we really are- loved so deeply by people...let us not forget this, my dear friends. I'll surround myself with people who remind me of this.

And with that, lets not forget our purpose- we're made to worship. we're made to love, to forgive and take care of each other.

Be good to yourselves. Be good to one another.

Sincerely,
Heather Lea, beloved across the land :)

we won't need legs to stand

This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Mike C., who is a faithful reader and a diligent requester of new posts.

Yes, requester is a real word, a derivative of the word "request".

The weather is pheomenal today. I'm feeling a calm about life, perhaps partially due to the great seasonal change we've experienced in the past week here in the midwest. Could also be attributed to the end of school nearing every day- and as my faithful readers, you know that my weeks are nearly complete after Tuesday eveings. So really, I feel exceptionally hopeful in the fact that the end is near, life continues to improve, relationships blossom, friendships grow, people move (sadly), books are recommended, papers are turned in, picnics are had, blankets are laid, and sun tea becomes the norm and the drink of choice. Things are great.

My cup runneth over.

how great is your faithfulness to me

It's raining. It's gloomy. Raindrops melt down my windowpanes in sync with slow melodic sounds of Sufjan Stevens. I am content.

Content, to say the least. It's been all I can do not to jump right out of my skin these past few weeks. I have been blessed immeasurably. And although school continues to weigh heavy on my shoulders, I confidently press forward with a mere three weeks remaining and an unbelievable amount of support from the people I love.

"I cannot do it on my own." -Shawn McDonald

It seems strange to think that in just three weeks, I will be finished with studying, homework, and portfolios for my undergraduate. Unfathomable, really.

I must go now. Lesson plans, papers, assignments to complete. Three more weeks.

he's sweeping

Some of you know about "the box"....and the 5 days of packages. Well today, unbeknownst to me, was day 6.....and this was waiting for me when I came over to do homework tonight.


Pink tulips....in a mason jar. LOVE it......

"it's just waiting for you...." -sweet song lyric

I have no words. Just a silly ol' grin.....and a happy heart.

tumbleweed-schmumbleweed

My Tuesday is over! Tuesdays are always the longest.....and this week's is over. :)

I really appreciate the simplicity of the art projects we do in my "art for elementary" class....here's a picture of a mask I made today. It is currently hanging on my bedroom door to keep out intruders (and other monsters). My favorite part of this mask is the teeth. Little felt teeth.....very scary!
Also shown, you can see a tumbleweed that Mike ran over with Nate's car on the way home from Colorado today. It was stuck in the grill while they were blazing down the interstate- didn't come off until they stopped for blizzzards at DQ (no, not DAISY queen.... ;). This picture makes me laugh really hard for various reasons. 1) it's a tumbleweed. 2) it's a tumbleweed stuck to the grill of the car. 3) I can only imagine the shock/suprise/curiosity that it caused other drivers to have 4) it's stinkin' funny. (i'm laughing out loud right now.....my roommates probably think i'm insane)

*sigh

Life is really good today...I hope everyone is well and looking forward to Easter with families or friends!

You are my angel. You are my diamond.

Today is windy. Beautiful. And windy. Very.

There's an idea of a summer camping trip- equestrian style, all inclusive with horseback riding, white water rafting, waterfalls, and hiking in and among creatures of the forest (and a creature from kentucky). Martha, Erin, Carissa and I......this could get out of control. The reason this is such a great idea is because as of July, we will be in 4 different states- Kentucky, Michigan, Wisconsin, and Missouri, and this will give us an opportunity to be dirty and wild and love the crap out of each other in the midst of the wilderness. I love it.

Ummmm....I'm feeling pretty good today about my school-work-load. Schoolwork Load or School workload. Any and/or all of the above.....really, are the same. There's a LOT....but I'm feeling productive and like I have a good schedule to get things done.

Speaking of which, I have lesson plans to write. Have a wonderful windy day, everyone!

I never love nobody fully

Here is a poem I ran across in an old journal-

to the one who is my very heart:
i'm trapped between wants
and walls that confine me
slowly creeping inward
trapped in a swarm of goodness
accepting and loathing
succumb to my own love
my own hate.
my own fear and longing for that which is
evil.
justice for breaking walls.

and i imagine my world without walls
but unconditional love
freely shown with kisses, naps, embracing
guard-less, free...simply love
without walls.

Today has been really great- the weather, company, productivity...everything about it. I've gotten a lot done- which is exceptionally great. This weekend I've spend a ridiculous amount of time doing......nothing. I honestly don't know where the time went. But today, today was great.

And last night was awesome- Ryan, Marth and I tucked ourselves into my bedroom, away from the rest of the company- ryan read his book and marth and i created some great stories and pictures- soon to be sent to some friends very far away in KY...(wink, wink). Be watching for a special, relatively thick envelope, my dear friends. You'll have a great laugh....and you can pretend that we're there, laughing right along side of you.

I'm off to write....something for which I do not make enough time and something that makes my heart so incredibly glad....I can't even describe it. I hope you are all well. Here is a great promise:

I will give you rest...
come and learn from me
I am humble in spirit, and so you should also be
I will be with you in the midst of every test
come to me and i will give you rest.
(from Matt 11:28)

Much love,
Heather Lea