Wednesday, April 6, 2011

One Year Ago...

A year ago today we went to Omaha for one of the most difficult doctors appointment of our lives. Little Oliver's heart stopped beating one year ago today. :(

In my MUMS group yesterday, our speaker talked about our prayers that are answered with a "no".....things that we are so sure are the right thing for our lives, people we are certain we should marry, babies we are certain we should raise, jobs we are most definitely supposed to have.....and God can see this great big picture and know which things are a good idea and which things....well, things for which He has much better ideas.

Last year God had a better idea than what we had planned. I wouldn't be sitting here with this grunting little Lucy in the Baby Bjorn if God hadn't had better plans. I'm not saying I love that his answer was "no" to our little Oliver. And maybe it wasn't so much as a "no" as a "not yet". Someday we'll get to hang out with him. And for now, I'll love this little Lucy who wouldn't be here if Oliver were. Too bad we coulnd't have both. :) Some day.

Today we remember our dreams for him and the way God pulled us through a really hard season. Our first little babe won't ever be forgotten....and one day I'll wrap my arms around my little Oliver, whom I dind't get to meet this side of Heaven. Until then, we remember him with happy, hopeful hearts.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Mystery Solved

We took our little gal to the doctor yesterday because of her increased fussiness the last few days. Sure enough, acid reflux. :( Poor little thing. Now she's on baby Prilosec which she HATES- it tastes really bitter (Nate tried it) and we can't seem to get it down. We tried way in the back of her throat, side of her mouth, cheeks, blowing in her face to make her swallow.....and nothing works. The only trick we've found is to mix it in with some milk in a bottle and have someone other than Mom give it to her.

But then, the milk comes back up and burns her esophogus so we're supposed to give her some Pedialite to help wash it down...and she also dislikes that. A lot. Maybe she's just not used to it. I'm trying little bits at a time to help give her some relief and she makes the funniest faces.

Hearing of parents home with sick kids takes on a WHOLE new meaning now. My word!

Grandma E. is in town this afternoon holding and rocking my little gem so that I can get some things done. Here's what I'm really looking forward to today:

1. taking a shower that lasts longer than 5 minutes
2. getting some of my orders done for Oliver & Lucy Designs
3. Dusting! (I sit and feed or cuddle my bug and see dust EVERYWHERE which I can't, of course, attack at the point of discovery because my hands are full of a sweet bundle).
4. a nap?
5. drinking coffee
6. laundry with TWO hands!
7. being in my sewing room with my music and not worrying about listening for cries
8. Seeing a great friend from NYC tonight
9. Helping another friend celebrate the night before her wedding day at rehearsal dinner tonight!

Oh, and who feels like a terrible mom? Me. BECAUSE yesterday I thought I'd try the "just let her cry herself to sleep" method....and then come to find out she was probably in a lot of pain laying flat on her back right after being fed. Sad. Sad. Sad.

Anyway, it's not the last time I'll accidentally do what I thought was the right thing only to find out it was the very wrong thing to do in that moment.

My mom might come this weekend.... :) There's just something about having mom around that makes everything seem more doable. She's so great. And if you don't know her, you should.