Dad's point of view

Here's a copy of an email that Nate sent out to family and some of our close friends Wednesday evening. I thought it would be good for you to hear his point of view. It's beautiful.

Wanted to give you all an update on how things are going. It’s funny how quiet our home seemed when we came home from the hospital yesterday. Just knowing that our little guy (we’re pretty sure he was a dude) was no longer growing from the size of one fruit to another every week. It just seemed quiet. How can we miss a little guy that we only saw on the ultrasound once? It’s been tougher than we could have ever imagined. But, we are clinging to our faith and the God that gives and takes life. We don’t understand…we hurt…but we have faith in God’s plan.

Last night and this morning were both really hard in preparing for the surgery where they take our little guy’s body from Heather’s womb. Something about that surgery seemed so cold and invasive. As a father and a husband, it broke my heart to see Heather wheeled away this morning. I couldn’t hold her hand or even be with her as they performed the surgery. But I was comforted by the doctor’s remarks that it was a successful surgery and everything on the inside looked very normal and healthy. Outside of what appeared to be a chromosome mismatch, there is no reason the baby would not have survived. The environment in the womb is very healthy and had been progressing as it should. He didn’t see any reasons that we would have complications in the future. Heather was a trooper – she went through three nurses (two students and then one seasoned veteran) to get her IV in. Both hands now have some major souvenirs. The right hand has eight visible “attempts”. Heather is doing well this evening; a few cramps, but relatively well.

We were incredibly comforted to know where our baby is going to be laid to rest. The hospital will bury our child in October in the Lincoln Cemetery with other little babies that have not made it this year. We will be able to participate in a walk with other parents and see where his physical body lies.

I cannot tell you how loved and encouraged we have felt by each of you. Your thoughts, prayers, calls, texts, visits, etc. have been uplifting and a breath of fresh air while we mourn. We don’t feel that we are in this alone. Last night we were talking about how blessed we are with the friends and family that have supported us. Not only that, but also the many encouragements to keep our focus on how God is and has been taking care of us. A dear friend sent us the following song to offer comfort:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FobeElssLCs (we can’t find a clear version- but this gives you an idea) “Glory Baby” by Christy Nockels of Watermark

Brings us to tears, but gives us comfort. Also, Amy Grant’s latest song was a favorite of ours before the events of this week. The lyrics have taken on a whole new meaning after this week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nMvvoXa9Yk

And so many verses:

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Psalm 139: 13-14 (NIV) “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV) "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"


So we rejoice with many tears in our eyes. Somehow. We don’t understand, but we trust. After all, that’s what faith is, right? We are moving forward a few steps at a time, hand in hand. For any of you that have children or will soon, please do not feel that you need to refrain from sharing stories, joys or challenges with us. We love each of you and your children the same today as we did three days ago. We would never feel offended, jealous or hurt. No need to walk on eggshells with us - so please share the stories and let us laugh, cry and support you as you have us.

We love you all and appreciate your prayers and support. If I could ask one thing I ask that as you continue to pray for us as we grieve, that you also pray for our parents and siblings. This was the first grandchild and nephew on both sides. They are grieving – as their hearts have also been broken. They don’t get the same attention and prayers as we do. So please pray for them.


Nate & Heather