I miss you more than I should; more than I thought I could.

Nate is back in Nebraska. My heart is lonely already, but he left me with a gift that has rejuvenated my spirit.

I dropped him off at the airport early this afternoon and drove west on I-94 with tears falling from open eyes. Once again, he was too far. Our weekend together was so good for my heart but the absence of him left me feeling like I had forgotten something. To distract myself, I called my good friend and roommate back home, Megan Joy. We visited for a short time and when she asked me how I was, the tears began to fall again. "I may have something that will cheer you up," she said, "Look for something in your room that reminds you of me..." I was confused but immediately turned to a photo of the two of us that sits on my dresser. Tucked behind it, there was a note card with Nate's thin black handwriting, "To start this scavenger hunt, look for a 'raw' scarf. Look deep!" Buried inside my knitting basket was clue #2- which led me to more and more notes. He stayed in my room this weekend while I was in the guest bedroom with Anna. While he had time, he hid notes and clues all around my room. What a wonderful man.

The last note led me to a book that is a compilation of notes from many of you back home. A black journal with my name spelled out in Scrabble pieces holds encouraging verses and notes from many of my greatest friends. I curled myself between my bed and the wall and read through my new book. I cried, laughed, responded out loud to messages and notes. I loved every page and came away feeling refreshed and homesick all at the same time. I know this is a season of growth. My time away from home has been difficult on my heart but has led me to find strength in the realization that God brings us to different seasons for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we cannot see so clearly what the purpose is- but that is where our strength comes from the Lord and we continue forward in faith, knowing that we are taken care of. ...even if we are away from those we love most; even when we feel lonelier than we'd ever imagined; even when our pillows are tear-stained and wet from the heartache of being so far from home. It is in these moments that our God pulls us to his chest and delivers some sort of comfort that can never be explained. It is in these moments that we are remembered by our closest friends; we are given a note (or book) of encouragement, a hug from a far-away visitor, a CD in the mail with a new autumn mix to be listened to with a fresh pot of coffee- from a dear friend who has shared these moments in the past, a phone call from a family member 'just to check and see', or a care package from mom and dad. I believe it is these things that God sends to remind us that we are loved; that He has chosen very certain people to be in our lives at a particular time- to encourage and bless us with their words, voices and occasional touch.

It is these things for which I am so thankful; knowing that God has my heart in mind and is holding it even more carefully now than ever before- keeping it safe until I am back with my community in Nebraska- at which point, He will gently set me back into my flock to encourage and uplift my family there....always keeping an eye on his little Heather.